What goes on in my mind

Sometimes I just feel like everything in life is so freaking difficult, and everyone in my life is selfish and difficult and disappointing. I swear some day I'm going to have a bumper sticker made that says "People are always a disappointment." And I feel like I'm here slogging along and trying to survive, and just waiting for the next crappy thing to hit. I want there to be someone around to lean on and to take care of me, just every so often, and there is no one, except sometimes Ivan. No parents, not many friends, no partner. Just me.

And in the Beginning...

...there was a pile of dirt, some uprooted grass, and just the dream of a new garden.

It killed me to leave behind my hard-won, extensive gardens when I left my old house. But just recently my landlord said, and I quote, "Oh, go ahead and start digging up around there, if you want to." Aha! She doesn't know what she has wrought...